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My mother checks my underwear despite I am 18

Dear Jamaica,

I am 18 years old and I am having a problem. My mother has two girl children. I am the younger of the two. When my sister was 16 years old, she got pregnant. My mother said that she couldn’t stay here with us, so after she had her baby, she went to live with her boyfriend.

He is living at his mother’s home and his mother helped my sister with the baby. My mother made an oath when my sister got pregnant that that will not happen in her house again.

From the time I was 15 my mother started to search me. She searched my bags, my cell phone and my panties. Now I am attending community college. Last month she suspected that I was having sex, she threatened to take me to the doctor to see if I am still a virgin.

I decided I was not going to go to the doctor for that and I put up a fight. When the neighbors heard us ,they came and asked what was happening, but I didn’t say what it was. My mother decided to lock me out that evening and I told her if she locked me out I will find a man and go and stay with him, so she unlocked the door.

Do you think it is right for my mother to be searching me and insisting that she takes me to the doctor to find out if I am a virgin because she provides me with some assistance for school?

My mother knows that what she is giving me to go to school is not enough because I have to take 6 taxis daily and I have to be printing course work and buying materials for classes. She is not the person paying my tuition because I got a scholarship which covered it all.

 I have a boyfriend and I am not a virgin. We are dating for one year and six months now and we are sexually active. I can’t talk to my mother about him because she does not believe in pre-marital sex.

I am doing well in school and I know I have to be careful. My boyfriend says he will never get me pregnant until I finish college. He would help me to get to college. My sister told me that she made a mistake by getting pregnant, so I should make sure that that doesn’t happen to me. I introduced her to my boyfriend and she likes him.

I really love my mother and do not want to have to fight with her.

I would really love to introduce him to my mother but I know she will make a meal of it. I am so confused and hurt. I am 18 years old and no longer a child. Shouldn’t I be able to choose my own path? Please tell me what to do.

Don't be Badmind!

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